cowboys and aliens review

Rated 12. Director Jon Favreau. I want to note that I am changing my review style.

Cowboys and aliens boasts a decent cast and good effects, but there's something missing. Humour is absent, as is a remotely believable storyline. This absurd tale has the CGI and some action sequences that are too spaced out. The film was so loud it gave me a headache. It was scary and suspenseful, and some good locations were present. The actors are good in it, but I criticize the lack of humour. Plot? just what it says on the tin, cowboys fighting aliens. Interesting combo but when you remove the element of joy, actions films can become train wrecks.

Grade: 4 

Toy story review

Here's an animated movie review. This is the first completely computer generated film and is PIXAR's (My favourite animation studio) first feature film. This is the only PIXAR film in the uk to be rated PG and was released in 1995.

As far as I am concerned, TS in one of the best animated films ever made. I love PIXAR and I love the toy story films. Toy story has unbelievable amounts of charm to spare. I've always loved the idea of toys coming to life in films. This is tough at times, which is perhaps why I prefer the second. I prefer the first 2 to the third TS film. So many have seen this I don't need to recount the plot, which is very fine indeed.

Toy story is the very definition of a witty screenplay. It's a bold, tough powerhouse of a script that is extremely intelligent. Like the ingenious Picasso joke. The characters are some of the best ever. Such as the cute Bo Peep, the loyal Slinky dog, the shouty Sarge and his soilders, the wise cacking Hamn, the rude Mr Potato Head and the briliant Buzz lightyear and Woody. The characters are endlessly fun and Rex is the best. Randy Newman's music is super.

The film is exciting and entertaining, very fun, and has a very touching story. It's a delight to watch.

Verdict: Spellbinding, magical, thrilling and funny, this fantastic film is impossible to resist.
Final grade: 10

Turbo coaster review

RATING 7: ENJOYABLE
Turbo coaster is located at Brighton pier. It is manufactured by he now defunct Pinfari. It is a looping model from the manufacturer. It costs 4 tokens and riders have to be 1.3 metres.

The train consists of 3  4 seat cars. The restraints are thin leather and lock on departure. The trains are now red and yellow rather than yellow and grey. The ride starts as the train curves out of the station, dipping slightly and ascends a quick lift hill. It goes slowly around the top curve and then does the rides main drop. The drop goes under another part of the ride and heads upwards again. The ride goes into a banked drop before doing the loop, which has the word turbo on it. The ride then goes upwards, heading into a curve directly below the highest one. Eventually, the rides does a banked drop in a spiral shape. and does a small airtime hill, followed by a banked curve. The ride goes up slightly and does a gentle curve. It hits the short brake run, which is on a slant, and then, after stopping briefly, the ride proceeds to the station.

This was my first upside down ride so it's important to me. It's a fun ride but there are things that let lit down. The ride is very rough- everyone says so. People are too harsh on it. I'm taller now than I was previously, so it's my shoulders getting banged, not my head. The seats and restraints are uncomfortable. The ride is the not the most thrilling, but impressive for something on a wooden structure over the sea. But the ride is fun. Sit at the back, as it's more thrilling there.

Verdict: Rough but fun
  

super 8 review

A new science fiction from Steven Spielberg. It is rated 12A. While out at night filming a movie, some kids witness a devastating train crash. As mysterious events start taking place, it soon becomes evident that it wasn't an accident and that a monster is on the loose......

One of the most anticipated movies of the summer, this. Me? I'm waiting for Final destination 5 and the new Tintin movie but this was actually a good quality sci-fi flick.But it had it's infrequent flaws. The film was uneven, as the action was spaced out. It was somewhat slow to start. It was formulaic in several ways, and felt like nothing too new. But that was made up for by many things.

Visual effects, as can often be expected nowadays, blew my mind. Explosions looked realistic, as did the alien. The action was involving and intense. The main character was a likeable protagonist. Acting was convincing enough. JJ Abram's direction was very efficient indeed. The train crash was even better than the one in FINAL DESTINATION 3! It was amazing! It was intense, beautifully done and totally crazy. But it was a little ludicrous though. The train would not go in the air like that.

The movie, despite featuring kids in the main roles, is not a little kids movie. It is very scary! But that's part of the fun. Intense action, as well as the frequent emotional depth, make for a touching and memorable experience.

Verdict: Though uneven and not so original, this thrilling, terrifying and touching sci-fi tale works.
Final grade: 8

Baby review

I don't like Justin Bieber much I'm afraid. He's not truly truly terrible. His music videos are OK and Never say never was OK. I just don't find his songs catchy. Here's my verdict on his newest and most famous.

Song review: Achingly tedious and utterly unconvincing, this is more irritating than catchy.
Music Video review: Perfectly good.

Song rating: *
Music video rating: **1/2

Horrid Henry's horrid revenge review

In this episode, Henry vows to get the ultimate revenge on Perfect Peter!

This episode makes changes from the original story that aren't brilliant but the episode is so funny and interesting that it more than compensates. It has a nice structure, at is hilarious at times. It's a clever story which is very funny, entertaining and well crafted.

Verdict: A hilarious episode! (****1/2)

Differences from the book
The incident that caused Henry to be sent to his room was a fight with Peter in the book but an incident involving a painting in this version.
Henry is in his room for the rest of the day in this version.
Henry never listened to music in his room in the book.
In the book, Henry's stuff was not taken from his room.
The whole part where Henry draws on the wall and needs Rude Ralph's help wasn't in the book.
Rude Ralph, Sour Susan and Moody Margaret didn't appear in this story in the book. Neither did Spotless Sam, Tidy Ted and Goody Goody Gordon.
The whole fairy plot is omitted, but this was featured in another episode.
The aliens weren't in the book.
The revenge is changed to Peter and his friends being tricked into painting themselves and the house blue.
In the book the success of Henry's revenge was left unclear but here, he definitely succeeds.  

Bridge tactics review

Bridge tactics is a strategy game. You have to destroy the bridge at the right time to destroy the enemy forces.

The good: Fun, innovative, clever.
The bad: Quite frustrating.

Verdict: An innovative and intelligent game that is fun but the difficulty will put some off.
Rating: (**** out of 5.)

Piranha review

Piranha is a comedy horror film and one of the many jaws rip offs of the 70s. It is directed by Joe Dante and rated 15. It has been remade twice.

I saw this movie yesterday. I liked it. Sure, it doesn't come near to Jaws and it was nothing special but it was quite fun. This is quite gory, gorier than Jaws but not higher than 15+ level. I have seen 2 other Joe Dante movies and I liked them both.

The piranhas in this movie looked very fake. In fact mostly, all we see are shadows. We see fleeting glimpses though. They were still a convincing but not wildly frightening. Joe Dante uses somewhat clichéd camera work but there is a fair amount of suspense here. The acting was fine, and the script had a few good jokes packed in. The action was intense and enjoyable. It was a fun little horror comedy, but not amazing.

Verdict: It's silly plot and somewhat clichéd camera work will put some off, but the good jokes, fair amount of suspense and light fun feel may win you over.

FINAL RATING: 7   

Booster review

RATING: 9 (Fantastic)
I have only been on one booster ride and that is this one. What makes this different is that it is built on a pier. Brighton pier to be precise. It is at the end of the pier. So at some points you swing over the sea.

The booster can hold up to 8 riders. It is a huge stick which has to paralleled cars attached to each end. The cars are fixed to the side of the structure. 4 sit on each car. The restraints, which are shoulder harness', are locked down using a seat belt. Then, once one car is loaded, That one is moved to the top of the pole, where they get a fantastic view. Then the other is loaded.  The ride costs 5 tokens. The ride doesn't last very long but whatever end you sit at, you get the view.

The booster has a bigger fear factor than others because it is higher than most. The view is jaw dropping. Flying through the air, shooting upside down at breathtaking speed is exhilarating. 2 down sides: One, the short length and 2, when you're going up, sometimes it forces you to look into the sun which isn't great. Thrill seekers will love it but it will be terrifying to roller coaster begginers. You have to be 1.4 metres to ride but some will be very scared by first flying through the air lke that and then sitting so high up. It's scary.

Verdict: With jaw dropping views, dazzling thrill and breathtaking speed, this is a brilliant thrill ride and Brighton piers best ride.

Ride it.        

Horrid Henry the movie

Horrid Henry the movie is a new  feature film directed by Nick More and shot in 3D. Theo Stevenson takes the title role, with big names such as Anjelica Huston and Richard E Grant as back-up. The film is rated U. It is based on the character of Horrid Henry, but doesn't adapt any storylines from the books, but uses the characters.

Horrid Henry is a troublemaking kid who hates his school, the infuriating girl next door, Moody Margaret (Played by Scarlett Stitt) and his goody goody little brother Peter. However he is soon forced into an alliance with both of those children as he and his purple hand gang face impossible TV shows, evil headmasters and a great challange, as they fight to save the school they always hated!

I am a fan of the HH stories as you already know. This was a mixed bag in truth. The bad: The 3D was totally pointless. I saw it in 2D but most of the time it won't have been used. There was CGI was about 3 times (maybe more) in this film. It looked beyond horrible.Truly terrible effects. Dick and Dom were a mistake. A big one. The cast was good, but they were very creepy and weird. I felt that some of the things in the books weren't captured in all their glory. Francesca Simon writes brilliantly, as Tony Ross' illustrations are very funny. However, the important parts of the books were mostly absent. I've never liked the character of Perfect Peter as he is such a tell tale but his telling tales is almost entirely absent. As is Henry's frequent transformations into animals. Both of the above only occur during 1 scene, when Henry transforms into a very fake looking dinosaur. Mum and Dad, who are also characters I dislike, barely appear, so their relationship with Henry isn't really shown.

The humour and script in this movie weren't very good. The humour was more disgusting than funny. One bit was so disgusting I clamped my hand over my mouth in horror. Adults may not enjoy this as it does somewhat lack appeal for that age group.

The good: It was fun, lively, energetic and the songs were catchy. The movie was light and directed with good visual style from Nick More. Acting was pretty good, With Anjelica Huston and Richard E Grant delivering the goods and Theo Stevenson, Scarlett Stitt and Ross Marron doing very well. HH the movie is great for youngsters. I had a smile on my face through the entire movie.

Verdict: It's weak script and lack of appeal to adults won't make this something that everyone can sit through, but it is an colourful and fun family movie that has enough charm to make children smile.
Rating: 6  

Moody Margaret moves in review

My second Horrid Henry episode review is here!

In this episode Moody Margaret, Henry's nemesis stays with the family for 2 weeks. 2 whole weeks! Something must be done!

Moody Margaret moves in is a terrific episode! It is fun, makes welcome changes to the book and filled with flair. The episode is different from what was probably the weakest story in the book HORRID HENRY TRICKS THE TOOTH FAIRY. This episode really is great. Do you know what? I can't fault it at all! Here are the differences from the book:
Henry never put Peter in the dustbin in the book.
The scene when Henry recieves the news about Margaret coming to stay is different.
Margaret is put in Henry's room as a punishment, not as a random decision.
Henry's family do not clean up when Margaret arrives.
The scene with the suitcases and luggage never occurred in the book.
The dinner scene is different.
Margaret only stays for one night.
Mum doesn't argue with Margaret about breakfast.
Henry's diary is omitted.
Henry sends an email instead of a telegram.
Henry also tricks Margaret into putting Peter in the dustbin and pretends Margaret had thrown his stuff out of the window.

Verdict: ***** a fun and lively episode that is intelligent and well structured.

The final destination review

The final destination (also know as Final destination 4, or Final destination: Death trip 3D) is a 3D horror film which is the fourth in the final destination franchise. The film has a 15 certificate and is directed by David R Ellis. In the film, a student at a car race has a vision that a the racing cars will crash and send debris into the audience, killing nearly everyone there. He wakes up and realises it about to happen. He gets several out, but they weren't meant to survive.......... so death comes to claim them!

I absolutely loved Final destination 1. I really like the second as well, even though I didn't enjoy it when I saw it at first. The third was amazing as well. But this movie was awful, awful, awful, awful! Seriously, this is a bit pathetic.

I'm hoping Final Destination 5 will be good. Here's what I liked about this movie: (Very little) The opening disaster was brilliant and the finale was intense. That's about it.

The main point of this movie is death chasing these obnoxious characters and killing them in unpleasant ways. The death scenes in the movie are almost entirely recycled from past things, as is the rest of the plot.  Most of these characters   I didn't care for. The actors who populate these characters don't do well either. The acting in FD movies has never been first rate but I was convinced. Devon Sawa, A.J. Cook, Ali Larter, Ryan Merriman, Kris Lemche were all good, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead was excellent. But these guys are terrible. The acting is very limited. Script is bad too.

The death scenes are mostly things we have seen before. The movie's plot is dull, lifeless and has no new ideas at all. It is just working from old ideas. The direction doesn't stand out either. The movie doesn't feel like Final destination.

Verdict: FD4 is a poorly acted, bad written and lifelessly plotted thriller that runs purely on uninspired gore and old ideas.

GRADE: 2

Last Friday night review

I quite like Katy Perry. This her most recent song.

Song review: (*** out of 5) lively and energetic, but the tune is not very catchy at all. The lyrics are quite fun though.

Music Video review: (****1/2 out of 5) Awesome music video! Filled with colour and energy! As for Rebecca Black's irritating and pointless cameo, it adds nothing to the video.

Horrid Henry's hike review

I really like the horrid Henry books. I like the TV series even more. So I'm going to review 3 episodes in 3 posts. I'll do a top ten list or something like that another time.

In this episode Henry wants to watch Rapper Zapper for 6 hours. But Mum and Dad have other plans! Forced out on a boring hike, Henry decides to make this a walk in the woods that Mum, Dad and Peter will never forget!

This episode is great. It has a good exciting bit and a good ending. It's all nicely told and well structured. It doesn't differ much from the book, but it makes some nice little changes:

Rapper Zapper VS Terminator Gladiator is changed to the rapper zapper marathon.

The opening is different. 

Peter's nature project was not in the book.

Henry's resistance to the hike is largely omitted.

Most of Henry's teasing to Peter is omitted. He instead ruins Peter Binoculars.

The hornets nest scene was not in the book.

In the book, The family were unfourtunate enough to encounter a bull but they escape and fall into the lake by accident. In the episode, they take a short cut, which just through some fences rather then a field, and Henry then releases a bull to make them go faster. The bull chases the family to the lake.

The frog at the end wasn't in the book.

I think the episode is well told, fun, interesting and energetic but I think there is 1 scene which should have been done differently:       SPOILER ALERT!

In the episode, just to hurry the family up, Henry releases a bull from a fence. It chases the family to the fence. It then breaks through and chases them. This scene was a mistake- they should have done it differently as the idea of Henry releasing a bull like that is preposterous. Bulls are dangerous animals; the whole family could have been killed thanks to Henry.

Overall verdict: The plot is flawed, but this is energetic and fun, thanks to the well structured story. **** out of 5.

The dark knight review

The dark knight is an OSCAR nominated superhero film which tells the story of Batman's struggle with the terrifying joker. The film is directed by Christopher Nolan and stars Christian Bale and Heath Ledger in his last film. The film was released in 2008 and has a 12 certificate. It is the sixth in the Batman franchise. And the best by far.

I didn't like BATMAN BEGINS much, as I found it too dark and not that fun, but I didn't mind it. I have yet to view the original BATMAN. BATMAN RETURNS was truly terrible, but Danny Devito was good. BATMAN FOREVER was quite good but not astonishing. The best thing in it was Jim Carrey. I enjoyed BATMAN AND ROBIN.

The dark knight is amazing. There aren't many words that can describe the experience it gives. It is breathtaking in every sense, shape and form. The only thing I don't like about it is that the 12A certificate probably should be an 15. The movie is pretty hardcore. The character of the Joker is very scary.

The action is breathtaking and beautifully filmed. It is swift, thrilling. The movie is truly awesome. Epic stuff. But  the sheer magic of this dark and gritty masterpiece doesn't stop there. The emotional content is powerful and poetic and the showdown- the physical and mental confrontation- between a dark, mysterious superhero and a terrifying, evil criminal mastermind is utterly unmissable.

The acting in this movie hits a number 10/10 on the wow factor. Christian Bale, Michael Caine and the rest are all great, but Heath Ledger's performance is truly, genuinely outstanding. He is terrifying, filled with flair and has become the most scary comic book villains ever. Well, one of the most scary certainly.

Final verdict: A breathtaking superhero film that is filled with terrific performances, outstanding action scenes and complex and affecting emotional content, the dark knight is unmissable.

                                                  Final score:10

On the run game review

On the run is a 3D action game which can be found at Miniclip. It consists of one level where the player is trying to get secret documents to an unknown destination, pursued by bad guys (obviously!). A sequel was later released.

Review: The 3D game has good graphics, and it's intense speed brings a feeling of adrenaline. The movement is fairly smooth and the game compensates for the short length with its thrills. It isn't a stand out action game, but it does provide speedy fun and a nice car chase. **** Out of 5.

A double review: Moments and Fridays

Rebecca Black is the latest teen sensation that's gripping the nation! She's done 2 songs so far, what do I think of them?

Friday song review: The lyrics are horribly dire, the songs concept is meaningless, the tune is boring and Friday is just awful, let's not forget the terrible rap near the end!

Music video: Dumb, filled with goofs and meaningless.

My moment song review: Although it is a vast improvement to Friday and the some of the lyrics get under your skin, the song lacks momentum and energy.

Music video review: Poorly done and not great, but it has a good second half and carries some sort of message.
Ratings (out of 5 stars)

Friday: *
Music video: *
My moment: **
Music video **1/2

Gnomeo and Juliet review

 Gnomeo & Juliet is a (so called) animated comedy directed by Kelly Asbury. The screenplay was written by several, including Kevin Cecil and Andy Riley. The film is based on the greatest love story ever told, written by William Shakepeare, who makes an appearance in the movie as a statue. The film came out in February 2011 and was rated U in the UK and G in the US.

G & J replaces all the characters of Romeo and Juliet with gnomes, garden stuff and only partially seen humans. Ms Montague and Mr Capulet, who hate each others guts, have 2 awesome gardens, who are full of gnomes which come to life when no one is looking. Ms Montague's garden has blue inhabitants, and Mr capulet's has red. The gnomes wage war too. But when 2 gnomes fall in love, this tale of laughably bad humour, terrible storytelling and a pathetic forbidden love sadly begins. Can these 2 silly gnomes find happiness and make this a happy ending?

Do you know what I think about this move? No? well.............WHY??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did I go and see this? Why? But what did I like about this mess and what diddn't I like about it? As for what I liked about it, there really isn't much. It's colourful, and I liked the animation. The film was certainly appealing visually. The enviroment looked very nice in the film. The whole garden world was quite cool. Some of the scenes were mildly exciting. The lawnmower race was OK. The finale packed in some intensity.

Now here are the bad things. First off, the 3D added nothing at all. I don't like 3D. You never see notice it and the glasses are annoying to wear. I always see 3D in adverts rather than the actual film normally. The 3D only appeared during the title for me.

The characters are terrible. I don't care about any of them. And one more thing.............. SINCE WHEN HAS ROMEO HAD A BEARD?! OK, a brown one might have been fine, but a white one.........? Give me a break. Gnomeo and Juliet aren't that pretty in this movie, the rest of the players are boring! All the garden's a stage in this movie. Well, the stage is populated with boring actors! And the characters aren't exactly illuminated by the actors are they? James Macavoy and Emily Blunt uncovincing and completely lifeless as the gnomes who are centre stage. No one else stands out.

Lets not forget the horrendous storytelling which doesn't grip, compell or make you interested. The plot is dull, dire, predictable and heavily overdone.

Now I want to get onto how unfaithful this movie is to its source material. The cleverness pretty much stops with the title in the end. There are 1 or 2 other moments of limited intelligence. Also, this is filled with scenes which were not needed. And in the real play, in act 1 Tybalt says "Peace, I hate the word". In this version, Gnomeo says "Red, I hate the word" What the heck?! The story might have been better if the storyline had stuck more to the source material.        SPOILER ALERT!


I know this is really mean, but I would have been happier if this had been a tragedy like the original. It would have been far more original because the romance and all other elements of emotion failed to touch.

The humour in this movie is soooooooooooo bad. I'm talking painful to watch. This is so unfunny!

Final verdict: A dull, derivative blend of terrible humour, awful storytelling and bad acting, this is a poor quality animation that will have William Shakespeare turning in his grave.

Skip it please! This will bore the little kids to sleep because of all the tedious romance and this is not a good family viewing choice at all. It is a TERRIBLE movie. Avoid like the plauge.

SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST REVIEW, I WANT TO MAKE AWARE ON THE FILM REVIEW SYSTEM. IT IS DONE IN NUMBERS FROM ONE TO 10
                                                             1= TERRIBLE
                                                              2= AWFUL
                                                              3= VERY BAD
                                                              4= NOT VERY GOOD
                                                               5=OK
                                                                6= PERFECTLY GOOD
                                                                7= GOOD
                                                                 8= VERY GOOD
                                                                  9= EXCELLENT
                                                                   10=FANTASTIC
FINAL GRADE: 2






 

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P.S. I don't review video games. I do computer games though!